Commentary: I used to be the daughter my dad and mom didn’t maintain | USAEMALL.com

MY STORY IS ONLY ONE AMONG MANY

More than 160,000 children from China have been adopted by families across the globe in the last three decades, with the US accounting for about half of those adoptions.

But my story is only that – my own. I cannot, nor do I purport to, tell “the Chinese adoptee story”. This is because there are as many Chinese adoptee stories as there are individuals.

This is one of the most important things I learned when I co-founded China’s Children International, a nonprofit organisation, to connect and empower Chinese adoptees from all over the world with my friend and fellow adoptee, Laney Allison, in 2011. Our organisation aims to provide a supportive community for Chinese adult adoptees to aid in identity formation and help them find a sense of belonging.

Adoption is a lifelong journey and being an adoptee is a lifelong identity. It doesn’t end when an abandoned or orphaned child is placed in the arms of their adoptive parents. It doesn’t become history when an adoptee turns 18. Even if an adoptee finds their biological relatives, it doesn’t somehow bring closure in the way many may expect.

And, importantly, it doesn’t end just because China has halted international adoptions. There are still thousands of adoptees around the world continuing to live out its implications, be they positive or negative or a mix of both.

What is most important for us is to listen to those who have been directly impacted by international adoption.

Over time, these myriad voices will help us build a better understanding of the complex legacy of China’s international adoption programme, honouring the experiences of the birth parents who were forced to give up their children, the adopting parents who flew halfway across the world to adopt them, and the adoptees themselves, whose story is ultimately theirs to tell.

Charlotte Cotter was adopted from China at five months old. She is also the co-founder of China’s Children International, a nonprofit organisation that connects Chinese adoptees around the world. She studied East Asian Studies, focusing on Modern Chinese history, at Yale University and is fluent in Mandarin.